So, there were certain things about me I have not done for anyone, or I don’t do for anyone. Or maybe I just didn’t feel like doing them. A few of the things were coming to me, I kept myself away, knowing I wouldn’t be able to do justice to them. I didn’t feel the value of it, maybe. Or maybe I wasn’t ready to take them on at that moment in my life. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle them well, since I was so busy in my life, focusing on what I love, what I wanted to achieve. So, I always denied it or resisted- said “no” in the rudest manner, so the “No” would make them realise how much of a douchebag I am, and feel better about not being in my company.

But, oh boy. When I felt I was ready, and felt the strongest pull this time, I thought, “It’s all going fine,” and breaking all my prejudices. Not only did it all reverse this time, but the things that were cringe in my books… And guess what? In my first time, situation & time kicked me. But, it’s okay. I am humbled. I learned a lot, every part, every bit of it was a learning. It made me feel unlucky about how I followed the principles which people say they admire, and still destiny denied me when I thought the time was for me.

I am glad, i could really well understand the other side. I know people hate denials but rather i became more empathetic and respected them even more now. Also, taught me some nice way to say NO. I know i am learning this a bit late now. But, learning is learning. Learn always.

But, I think it’s alright. The world hasn’t gone down. But, I don’t feel like I will do this again. But, it’s not the same water. I got better learnings. This phase taught me so much. Also, I am proud of myself, yet I feel unlucky, but I am glad I didn’t lose on my values and didn’t become selfish. so, it was one of the best times.

Also, my horrible style of writing includes (they, things, them). can’t help. this is how i write. Thanks for reading!